


Outcast →phan←

by punkprostitute



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:12:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6199921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkprostitute/pseuds/punkprostitute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't understand, Dan."</p><p>"Understand what?"</p><p>"Why do you keep calling us outcasts?" And he smiled.</p><p>"Because that's what we are, Phil."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dan Howell always knew he was a little different. Ever since he was in elementary, he knew something about him separated him from everyone else.

See, Dan's home life wasn't what you'd expect a home life to be like. Ever since he was seven years old, he has been left alone in his house to do whatever he pleased and cook for himself, watch over himself.

His parents were always gone. They were the kind to offer their children weed or a cigarette just to let them try and they had an open kind of relationship when they were at home. The amount of times Dan had walked in on his parents having sex or threesomes or foursomes was kind of ridiculous, but he didn't mind.

Normally, children would realize what was happening and look away, but Dan paid no attention to it. Neither did his parents when he interrupted to ask a question.

When his little brother was born, Dan had missed school that day because his father wanted him there to see it happen. He didn't understand what exactly was happening, but he did know that "it's weird to see mommy like that without you in her, daddy."

From when he was eight, he not only had to take care of himself most of the time, but Adrian as well, which wasn't really that hard. He was a calm baby and hardly ever cried, so Dan got lucky on that end.

At school, he didn't have any friends. No one really liked him because he dressed a bit differently than the others. According to the other students, he dressed girly, but he couldn't see it. He liked his clothes and his parents let him wear them and continue to buy them, so he was going to wear them.

At first, he didn't understand why no one liked him. He didn't understand why whenever a new kid would enter the school, they would avoid him and be welcomed by everyone else in school. He didn't know what he did wrong and he even asked his mom about it.

_"Mom?" He said, walking into her room, ignoring the fact that her and his dad were having sex. They stopped and she looked at him._

_"Yes, sweetheart?" She said, panting just slightly._

_"Why does no one at school like me?" That's what got them to full on stop and sit up, his dad grabbing both of them robes as his mom held her arms out toward the little nine year old who looked so confused and sad._

_"Well, Daniel, sometimes, people don't fit in," she said, hugging the boy close after putting on her robe. He rested his head on her shoulder._

_"Why don't I fit in? What did I do wrong?" He asked, voice shaking. He pulled away and looked between his mom and dad, tears threatening to spill from them. His mom reached up and wiped his eyes._

_"You didn't do anything wrong, son. You did something right," his dad said, rubbing the boy's head, messing up his hair a bit. "If you don't fit in, that means you're not meeting the 'norm' of society. You're living how you want to live, and that's something great to do. You're what society calls an outcast."_

From that day on, Dan had always remembered that quote from his dad. Even after he had been through so much, he remembered that it was okay. It was okay to be where he was. It was okay to be like he was. Why?

Because it's who HE is, not anyone else.

Dan Howell is an outcast and he embraces it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Seventh Grade**

Dan groaned as he was gently shaken awake by his mother. He knew why she was waking him up, and if he had to be honest, he really would rather be dead. It wasn't that he hated school, but he just hated the people there.

"Dan, sweetheart, it's your first day back," his mom said in a soft voice. He let out a deep sigh, cracking his eyes open and seeing his mom dressed in a dark red suite, her hair up in a neat bun. He knew what that meant.

"Is dad going to be home later?" He asked, rolling over and stretching out like a cat. His mom stood back up straight, a smile on her face.

"I don't know, darling. You know me, though. I just got a new client and I have to go meet them today," she said, walking over to where Dan had his body mirror. He looked over his mom, a smile on his face. She did a lot for the family.

His mom worked as a lawyer, a pretty popular one, and she brought in quite a bit of money, but she still works as hard as she can. When she gets new clients, she normally is gone for a few days at a time.

"Is Ade up?" He asked, swinging his legs over the side of his bed and letting out another yawn. His mom spun around and looked at him, a sympathetic smile.

"Dan, babe, he doesn't go in at the same time as you," she said. Realization hit Dan and he groaned again. He didn't want to be a middle schooler. He knew he would have to deal with so many more people that he never met before. He already had to shut everyone away from him at his elementary school, now he's going to have to work ten times as hard.

"Can I not go?" He asked, falling backward to lay on his back. His mom laughed, sitting on the bed next to him and setting her hand on his stomach.

"You have to go, but I promise when I get home in a few days, you can pick where we go to eat and what we do after," she said. That made Dan smile. He loved those days. The days mom got home, they would go out to eat at either his own or Adrian's favorite restaurant, and then they would go out and do something fun, even if that meant being at a park in the middle of the night.

Dan nodded, sitting back up and standing up, going to his closet. He grabbed his favorite shirt, a black one with a white ring on it, and a pair of ripped black skinny jeans. He loved his clothes, but not everyone else did.

Dan followed his mom out of his room and into the bathroom. The days she left, he always let her straighten his hair. She loved doing it, though he didn't really know why. He sat down on the toilet, watching as she turned on the straightener.

"Mom?" Dan said, keeping his head straight as she started the straighten his hair. She hummed. "Do you think I'll still be an outcast at school?" He asked, curiously. He liked keeping to himself and doing his own thing and everything, but sometimes it gets really lonely. Especially when Adrian would bring home friends on the weekends and he would have to sit in his room, not really doing anything.

His mom lifted the straightener away from her son's head and looked down at him. "Who knows, sweetheart, but just remember, don't change who you are just to fit in, okay?" She said.

Dan nodded and she went back to straightening his hair, but this time, silence filled the room. He didn't really used to mind being an outcast, but lately, it's slowly been getting to him more and more.

He never had any friends over to his house before. He had never been to anyone else's house that wasn't a family member or a co-worker of his parents. Even if that co-worker had children his age, they never played with him. He always sat on the couch next to his mom, fiddling with his hands or whatever he had been holding at the time.

"There. All done," his mom said, stepping back and smiling at him. He turned go face the mirror and smiled slightly. He loved when his hair was straight. It always gave him that boost of confidence.

They exited the bathroom and he grabbed his bag and quickly slid on a pair of shoes before waiting for his mom. When she walked toward him from the hall, she jingled her keys at him.

"Ready to go, Danny?" She asked, handing him a jacket, which he slid on before throwing his bag over his shoulders.

"Yeah," he said and followed her outside and into her car. The car ride was silent except for the hum of his favorite CD.

As he watched the foreign school come into view, he watched as other kids got dropped off by their parents. The buses pulling in so they could drop even more kids off. He watches as everyone began talking to each other, smiling and laughing already.

When his mom stopped, he didn't get out. His hand was on the handle of the door, but he made no effort. In all honesty, he was scared. He didn't want to go to school. He didn't want to be an outcast anymore. He wanted friends.

"Daniel, look at me," his mom said. He turned to look at her. She had a smile on her face. "You'll do great today, alright? If you need anything, you call me. Don't hesitate. Just because I'm at work doesn't mean I won't drop everything to come to your rescue, okay? I love you, sweetheart. Now, go out there and make some new friends. Who knows, maybe another outcast might be in one of your classes?"

That's what had motivated him. The thought of maybe not being alone for once. He kissed his mom goodbye before getting out of the car and heading toward the large, intimidating building.

"I can do this," he told himself, walking through the doors of the school, ready to find his first friends.

By the time he actually got home, Dan was a mess. Everyone at school had avoided him, just like they used to. He was called emo and a freak already and no one in his classes liked him. He didn't understand. What had he done to them?

When he walked into his house, he was already trying not to cry. He had picked up the house phone and ran to his room, knowing his dad was at work considering his car was gone, and started dialing his mom's cell phone number.

He laid down on his bed and listened to it ring four times before she finally picked up.

"Dan? Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked, immediately worried.

"I don't want to be an outcast anymore, mommy," he said, tears starting to fall down his cheeks as he thought about the day.

"I'm sorry, I just need a few minutes. My son's first day of middle school was today and he had a bad day," he heard her say. He heard a muffled 'no, take your time. I understand.' In the back. "Sweetie, what happened?"

"N-no one likes me, mom. I was called a freak and emo. No one day with me at lunch, they didn't even sit n-near me," he said, trying hard not to let himself fully cry, but knowing he wouldn't be able to hold it in for much longer. He heard the door open and close downstairs.

"I'll call the school when I can, okay? Or have dad do it when he gets home. He didn't have to work today, so if he wasn't home when you got home, he probably went to the store. You're not emo and you're not a freak. You're unique, sweetheart. I love you, Daniel. You can cry. Don't think you can't, little one." He listened as footsteps started coming closer to his door as he let out a soft sob. There was a knock on his bedroom door before it was slowly opening and his dad poked his head in.

"Hey, Champ. What's wrong, Dan?" His dad asked, instantly walking over to his bed and pulling him close. "Are you talking to mom?" He asked and Dan nodded against his father's chest, body shaking as he tried so hard to keep the cries in. He felt his dad take the phone from his hand before he wrapped himself around his dad.

"I-I don't want to be an o-outcast, dad," he cried. He listened to his dad tell his mother bye before he was being forced to look up at him.

"Dan, Let's go up to the school right now, okay? I'm not letting them get away with calling my son a freak. It's okay to be an outcast, son," he said, wiping at Dan's eyes.

Dan wanted to yell back at his father. To scream back about how he hasn't had a single friend ever since he went to daycare, but even then, it was only because those kids were forced to play with him. He didn't want to be an outcast because he felt so lonely all the time.

His dad didn't understand that and he wanted to explain that to him, but as his dad held him close and rubbed his back softly as his brother walked into the room, he found that he really couldn't.

So, he sat there in his dad's arms, staring at the wall behind them as he felt Adrian's hand on his back as well, just regretting ever being alive in general.


	3. Chapter 3

**Junior** ******Year.**

  
Daniel Howell didn't give a single shit as to what people thought of him anymore. He did whatever the hell he wanted when he wanted. He was 17 years old and had already done more than any kid in his grade had before. He had smoked weed before with his mom. He had gotten drunk with his dad. He almost had sex with a girl he met over the summer when his family went on a trip.

The only adults he really obeyed completely were his parents. Other than that, he didn't care.

"Oh, look! It's the freak!"

Dan had become completely numb to the names he was constantly called. He still never made a single friend. Not one person actually talked to him to have a normal conversation with him.

That was until about the third day of his junior year, a boy walked up to his desk in his math class. Dan looked up from his notes and stared at the boy in front of him.

He had black hair with pale blue eyes. He had pale white skin with hardly any acne whatsoever. Dan's first thought was that it was yet another prank being pulled on him, but the longer the boy stood there, the more Dan didn't recognize him at all.

"What do you want?" Dan asked, pulling his headphones out. The boy smiled big at him.

"I'm new here and I haven't really talked to anyone yet, but my brother told me that I should man up and talk to someone, so I decided you didn't seem too bad to become friends with," the boy said. Dan's eyes widened. He was shocked. Beyond that, actually.

No one in his life had ever told him he seemed like he would be a good friend. Not a single one.

"Oh, I'm Phil by the way," the boy, Phil, said, holding his hand out toward Dan. Dan stared at the hand in front of him before slowly taking it and shaking it.

"I'm Dan. This isn't a joke is it?" He asked Phil. Phil looked confused as to why he had just asked him that.

"No? Why would it be a joke?" He asked Dan. Dan just shook his head, looking back down at his notes.

"Never mind. Sit wherever. The teacher doesn't care," Dan mumbled, going to put his headphones back in, but Phil talking stopped him.

"Is anyone sitting here?" He asked.

"No." Phil sat down and it felt really weird for Dan to actually sit next to someone in a class. He didn't like the feeling of it. He felt like it was almost too intimate; to have someone so close to him that wasn't a part of his immediate family.

And that's why he put all his stuff in his bag and stood up with it, throwing it over his shoulder before walking toward the front and asking the teacher if he could go to the bathroom. He wasn't going to the bathroom, he was leaving. Neither of his parents are home, his little brother is at school, so it really doesn't matter. They would never know.

As he walked out of the classroom, he glanced back at the Phil boy who decided to sit next to him, seeing a confused look on his face as he walked out. And for some reason, he couldn't help but feel just a tad bit guilty for not even trying to talk to that boy. He walked out of the classroom and made his way out the front doors, no teacher paying him any attention at all as he walked right out the doors and away from the school.

As he walked back to his house, which was maybe a fifteen to twenty minute walk, he didn't think about anything except for that boy. He couldn't understand why he decided to talk to him of all people. No one likes him, and that's not even an exaggeration. He's never had a friend or anyone even try to be friends with him until this kid, so why?

He just didn't understand, he couldn't.

What had actually appealed to this kid to make him think he seemed like a friendly person? According to everyone else, Dan was a freak, though that's not what he called himself. He was just an outcast.

There was something on his mind as he walked into his house. Something that he realized, and it sent a feeling of excitement through his body as he thought about it. He found himself smiling, wider and wider, before he found himself jumping up and down behind the closed door, practically squealing like a teenage girl who just got asked out by her crush.

I might be getting my first ever friend!

He ran to the phone and immediately started dialing his mother's phone number. He knew it would end with him getting lectured because he should be in school and why did he skip yet again, but he didn't care.

"Hello?" His mom answered after the first ring.

"Mom, I have to tell you something!" Dan said, not being able to sit still. He heard her sigh.

"Daniel, did you skip school again?" She asked him. He knew that was coming.

"Yes, and I'm sorry, but mom. I went to school and it was first period and guess what!" He said excitedly.

"Dan, you can't keep doing that. We're not making this year like last. You need to stop skipping or you're not going to get into college," she started. Dan's excitement was slowly fading as she kept going. She was saying the same thing over and over again and his happiness was fading and fading until it was practically gone by the time she finally stopped her lecture. "Now, what did you have to tell me?"

Dan was slouched on the couch, staring at the floor, that numbness flowing over his body.

"It's nothing. I'm sorry. I'll see you in a few days," he said before he hung up. He gripped the phone tightly before throwing it onto the ground. He was mad. The one time he was actually really happy for the first time since he was a child, his mom didn't even seem to care.

The phone was ringing, but he just stared at it, feeling his throat clenching up and tears starts filling his eyes. He didn't want to cry, he hated crying, but he was just so mad and so upset.

_"Hi! You've reached the Howell residence. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you."_

**"Dan, pick up the phone. Don't you dare ignore me, mister. I'm sorry, but you know I have my reasons for why I kind of yelled at you. Daniel James, pick up the phone."**

He didn't know what happened, but next thing he knew, he was crying and he was throwing things. There were things breaking and he didn't know why he was doing it. He was upset, yes, but he'd never done this before. He had never lashed out like this before when he was upset or angry. He normally is really quiet and will keep to himself, but now he's throwing everything he can.

He would call his dad, but his dad can't answer his phone while at work. The phone was ringing again and he didn't want to answer it. He knew it was his mom because who else would be calling?

**"Dan? Babe? Please answer the phone. I am sorry and you're worrying me. Your cell phone is off and I really need to talk to you. Sweetheart, please."**

He was shaking as he stood in the middle of the now messy living room, still crying. Dan didn't understand. He thought that they would want him to make friends. He thought they'd be happy. That his mom would be ecstatic about the idea.

**"Your dad is going home. He'll be there in ten minutes, Danny. I love you."**

He sat down and started to take deep breaths, trying to stop himself from crying. His knees were tucked to his chest and his chin on his knees, eyes closed. He was weak. He couldn't even handle his mom yelling at him, but then again, his mom, dad, and brother are the only people he has.

He can't afford to lose them.

By the time the front door opened, Dan was struggling to stay awake. He kept dozing off and he heard the door open before there was a gasp. He rolled his head over to see a slightly blurry image of his father standing in the doorway of the living room with a shocked look on his face as he looked around the room.

"I'm sorry, dad," he whispered, yawning. His dad stepped over all of the things in his way as he made he was to where Dan was. He sat down on the couch, helping Dan up on the couch before he hugged him.

"What happened, bud? Your mom was pretty worried when she called me. She was worried you'd try something like when you were a freshman," he said, running his hands through Dan's hair.

When Dan was a freshman, he was picked on a lot more than usual. He was constantly called a freak or emo or ugly. He never could concentrate in class, which was when he started skipping so much. He didn't see a point in going to school when he couldn't understand whatever they were doing and when he actually did, his teachers made him feel stupid, so he just stopped trying. He had no friends to help him through any of it and his parents were unusually busy with work, which he knows wasn't their fault. If it wasn't for Adrian coming home that day, Dan wouldn't be alive. His brother had walked in on Dan holding a gun to his head, just sitting there. Adrian was originally supposed to go home with his friend, but he had came home instead and he didn't understand what Dan was doing, but Dan told him to go call mommy and he did. He was put into a hospital for about two months to try to get his head set straight and ever since, he hasn't done that.

"I don't know. I wanted to tell mom about something that happened while I was at school for the short time and then she started yelling at me for skipping again and I don't know. I don't know why I started throwing things, dad. I was really happy and then I wasn't and I started throwing things. I'm sorry," Dan replied, leaning back to look at his dad. He knew that his dad didn't like missing work, but he knows that when it comes to him and his brother, he wouldn't think twice.

"Well, why don't you tell me what you were so happy about? You can tell me and we can clean this up," his dad said, motioning to the mess in the room. Dan nodded and he could feel the excitement coming back slowly.

"I was in my first period and then this guy came up to me. He came up to me, dad! And he said he was a new student and he said, and I quote, 'you didn't seem too bad to become friends with.' Dad, I might actually be getting my first friend!" Dan said, bouncing slightly in his seat. His dad gasped.

"Oh my, I'm so happy for you, Danny!" His dad said, hugging him. Dan laughed, sniffling and wiping at his eyes when his dad let go of him. "What's his name?"

"His name is Phil," Dan said, starting to help his dad clean. There wasn't much more to be said about the person who decided to talk to Dan, so they cleaned in silence. Dan tried his hardest to continue thinking about how he might be getting his first friend, but he couldn't help but think about how things could go so wrong. About how his mother yelled at him just minutes before.

_What if it is just a prank? Or what if he just leaves me alone after giving me the false hope? What if mom doesn't really want me to have friends?_

Dan found himself standing up in the newly clean room with his head down. He looked up at his dad as he walked back in the room.

"I'll be in my room," he said, quieter than he wanted, but he just walked up to his room and shut the door behind him. He felt himself growing completely numb. He felt the sadness, happiness, anger, everything, just leave his body and soon, he was just sitting on his bed, a blank stare into nothing.

His mind was racing with so many things, but the only one he could pick out was the time he attempted to kill himself. He found it appealing.

"Dan, are you okay?" He heard his dad ask through the door. His dad's voice made the thought vanish almost instantly.

"Yeah," he said, half lying. "I'm tired," he continued.

"Take a nap, bud. I'll wake you when Ade gets home." Footsteps walked away from his door and he laid down on his bed, curling in on the one stuffed animal he received from the only person he considered to be his friend, his little brother.

He let his eyes close and soon, he was asleep in a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Dan didn't go to school for the next few days after he lashed out. He really couldn't pull himself out of bed in the morning long enough to actually get himself to school. He was just completely drained and he really didn't understand why.

So, when he finally did go to school, no one really cared, as usual. He walked into the building and people parted to let him through like he was some sort of disease, like if he touched them, or even if he got too close, they'd catch it. Then again, it's always been like this, so he didn't really expect any different.

Except for when he sat down in his seat in his first period class.

That boy was sitting in the seat next to him and he gasped when he saw Dan.

"Oh my, I thought you died or something! I was worried! What happened?" Phil asked, turning away from whatever he was working on to look at Dan. Dan froze at the words that left the other's mouth. He had forgot that someone talks to him now. Though, he didn't really expect him to worry about him. He's never had anyone outside his family worry about him.

"I-uh-" Dan didn't have an answer. He didn't really want this kid to know everything about him because what if this was just a prank? What if in about a month, Phil calls him all the names that he's used to?

"You don't have to tell me. I'm just glad you're okay," Phil said, smiling at him. Dan just stared at him, confused. He truly didn't understand why this kid was talking to him, but he was happy about it.

A substitute teacher walked into the room, setting themselves up at the teacher's desk.

"Your teacher didn't have anything planned for you today, so just treat it as a study hall," they said and Dan immediately went to grab his headphones, but Phil stopped him with a question.

"What is your favorite band?" Dan turned and looked at the curious boy next to him who was waiting for an answer.

"I've gotta say Muse," he responded after a second. Phil's eyes widened and he started bouncing a bit in his seat excitedly.

"Same! What's your favorite song?!" Dan was shocked. He didn't think anyone else really liked Muse, but he felt himself start to smile as the conversation went on.

By the end of the period, Dan was laughing. Actually genuinely laughing and smiling. Phil was talking about something his brother made him do when he was little and Dan couldn't stop laughing at it for some reason. He felt so happy in that moment, so when their math class ended, Dan started to get upset.

"You know, you're a really funny guy. Do you mind if I ask for your number?" Phil asked, standing as they gathered their things together. Dan froze at first and Phil cocked his head. "Why do you do that?"

"What?" Dan asked, recollecting himself and finished grabbing his things and walking out of the classroom with Phil as he grabbed Phil's phone.

"You hesitate after everything. You seem so shocked when I ask things that would help us being friends. I mean, it's not unnatural, is it?" Phil pointed out. Dan knew that he wasn't meaning anything by it. He wasn't trying to be mean, but Dan immediately started shrinking back behind the wall he was peeking out of. The stone mask appeared again and he shoved his phone into his hands after he put his number in and shrugged.

"That's not really any of your business," he snapped, causing Phil to step back a small bit. Dan sighed. "At least yet," he added before he finally walked off toward his next class. He had an early dismissal every time his mother got home and today happened to be that day. Maybe now he would be able to tell her about Phil?

She'll yell at you again. Don't even try.

\---

"You can pick the place again, Ade," Dan said when they both got into the car. He was staring out of the window, debating on whether or not to tell his mom about how happy Phil had made him today.

"Dan, it's your turn, though," his mom stated. He just shrugged and continued to look out of the window as they drove home to wait for dad. He felt his phone vibrate when they pulled into their drive way and he looked down to see an unknown number and Dan's heart sped up a bit as he read the message.

_**Hello, new friend! Tis I, the frenchiest fry! -P.xx** _

He found himself laughing a bit at the words, before stepping out of the car and heading to the house behind his mom and little brother.

**Hi there -D.xo**

"Dan, come in here a second please," he heard his mom say as he walked by her room. He sighed before hesitantly walking into the room he spent a lot of time in whenever he felt alone. His mom was sitting on her bed, looking at him with what he realized to be one of worry and confusion.

"What?" He asked, leaning against the wall by the door which only gained him an even more confused look.

"Are you okay, sweetheart? You usually love when it's your turn to pick where we go," she pointed out. He looked at the floor and shrugged again.

"Don't really want to go tonight, honestly," he said, his phone vibrating in his hand making him smile slightly, noticing it was Phil again. "Can I just stay home? You guys can go. I just don't want to this time." He looked up at his mom to see that the worried look only intensified.

"Why don't we just do it tomorrow?" She offered, but he shook his head.

"Adrian has been waiting for tonight all week, just take him, okay? I just want to be alone for a while. I'll be in my room," he said, walking out and down the hall into his own room, shutting his door behind him. Quickly, he looked at the message.

_**What are you doing right this second? -P.xx** _

Dan plopped down onto his bed, laying back and getting comfortable before typing out a reply with a smile on his face.

**Currently, I am typing these words and laying on my bed. Yourself? -D.xo**

He could himself start to get less and less happy as the time went by without a text from Phil. He wanted so bad to tell his mom about the boy who has actually decided to talk to him. Who has managed to make me so unbelievably happy by literally doing nothing except talking to him and trusting him with stories of his childhood.

There was a knock on the door, which broke his thoughts. He waited for a second and saw the door open, revealing Adrian, who closed the door behind him and walking over to sit on Dan's bed.

"Danny, why don't you want to go?" He asked, laying down so he was using Dan's stomach as a pillow. Dan sighed.

"I just don't want to, Ade. I'll go the next time, but there's some things going through my head and I don't feel that okay mentally to go out into public right now, bub," he said, running his hand through his little brother's hair. Adrian seemed to be the person who really understood Dan when he said those things. His parents understand, but they insist on him being around someone when he's dealing with things, but Adrian is the one that always fights for him to stay home alone. Though, he's never stayed home from one of the nights they have as a family.

"Okay. I'll tell mom and dad. Are you okay, though? You never stay home from these nights and dad told me about you breaking a lot of things a few days ago," Adrian asked, sitting up again. Dan smiled at his little brother, appreciating the concern in the child's voice. 

"I'm okay, don't worry," Dan assured, kissing his forehead. Adrian nodded and got off the bed and went to walk out of his room before turning around again.

"I love you, big brother!" He said, smiling at Dan before opening the door and running out, door slamming shut behind him. Dan found himself smiling at his brother before he checked his phone again, only to see that Phil had texted him without him realizing.

_**Sorry. I was fighting with my mom. Not very fun. But! I am hiding away on my roof. would u like to join me? -P.xx** _

**That sounds delightful. -D.xo**

There was another knock on his door and he looked up from his phone to see his dad poking his head through. He smiled at him and beckoned him to come in. His dad stood in the door way, looking Dan over, as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Are you completely sure you don't want to go tonight? Is everything okay, Dan?" He asked slowly. Dan sighed and sat up again on his bed.

"Yes, I'm sure, and yes, I'm fine. Didn't Ade tell you guys that already? I don't get your point in asking all the time when I've told both mom and Adrian that I was okay and I didn't want to go," Dan said, not meaning anything to sound rude. He was just getting kind of tired of them always seeing if he was okay no matter what he did. 

To his surprise, his dad just smiled at him. The older man walked over to him and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Are you texting that Phil character?" He asked and Dan just stared at him, shocked that he noticed he was texting someone. Dan could feel a bit of happiness course through him because one, his dad noticed, and two, Phil made him unreasonably happy.

"Yeah. He gave me his number today. He said he was worried about me. I've never been worried about outside of you guys," Dan stated, looking down at his phone to see a new message from Phil. He didn't open it yet, though.

"Have you told you mom about him yet?" His dad asked and he shook his head. "I'll keep quiet about him then."

That's the thing about his parents. They never told each other things Dan only tells one of them because they want Dan to tell each of them. When Dan figured out he was gay, or at least thought he was, he told his brother first, only due to the fact that Adrian walked in on Dan crying because he realized there was yet another thing to make him even more of a freak.

But he then told his mom that night, before dad got home. She didn't tell his dad at all until after Dan told him about a week later. He loved this about his parents in some regards.

"You guys have fun, okay? I swear I'll go next time. I don't want to this time, I feel like it'll just end badly," Dan said, pleading to his father who nodded and leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead before standing up.

"If you'd like to have Phil over, you may. We'll be home in a few hours, okay, Danny?" Dan nodded and watched as his dad left his room before opening the text from his phone.

_**Can I call u? -P.xx** _

**Yes. -D.xo**

His phone began to ring and his heart flipped as he answered it.

"Hi," he answered. What sounded like wind blew through the speaker as Phil said his greetings.

"Oh, also, sorry if you hear the wind. It's kind of windy tonight." Dan could only imagine Phil sitting out on his roof. He had looked outside just a bit earlier and saw that it was relatively clear.

"It's okay," Dan stated. He really didn't know what to talk about. He kept thinking about what his dad had said about he he could have Phil over if he'd like. "What were you and your mom fighting about?" He asked out of curiosity.

"She wanted me to go somewhere with the family, but I didn't want to, which happened to lead to a fight as usual," Phil responded easily. Dan kind of envied how easily he could just tell someone he barely knew things. He couldn't help but laugh at the slightly similar situation he was in.

"I'm kind of in the same situation, except I fought with my mom a few days ago," Dan informed. He wasn't sure why he told Phil he fought with his mom, but he did.

"Is that why you hadn't been at school?" Phil asked. Dan stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"Something like that, yeah."

Dan listened to Phil start talking about how he hasn't really found any other people who would want to be his friends. He started to kind of see himself in Phil as the boy kept talking about how ever since he was little he never had many friends. He started to feel a little less lonely, but he started to feel sad.

"Phil?" Dan interrupted.

"Yeah?" Phil asked, stopping what he was saying. Dan looked up at his ceiling, sadness slowly taking over his mind.

"Would you like to come over?" The words left his mouth and the thought of rejection flushed his mind. He was scared that maybe he crossed a line.

"Yeah. Where do you live? Maybe I can walk there," Phil said and relief flooded Dan's body as he told him his address. "I should be there in a little bit. See you then, Danny!"

The click of the phone made Dan really excited. He was having his first friend over. After so many years of never having anyone over, finally, he was having someone over.

And that's why, fifteen minutes later, when there was a knock on the door, he jumped up and ran to the door. He paused to try to contain his smile before opening the door and locking eyes with bright blue ones.

"Hello!" Phil said cheerily. Dan smiled widely at the boy, stepping aside to let him in. Phil walked in and Dan shut the door before they stood there awkwardly.

"Uh, sorry. I've never exactly had anyone over before and I don't really know what to do," Dan realized, scratch the back of his neck.

"It's okay. Where's your room?" Phil asked and Dan was shocked that Phil didn't question why. They walked up to Dan's room and Phil plopped down on the brunette's bed and smiled at him. "So, what do you want to talk about? I like your room, by the way!"

"Thank you, and I don't know. You pick something," Dan said, sitting across from him.

"Tell me about your family?" Phil asked and Dan nodded, sitting in silence for a second before decided what he wanted to say.

"I have a younger brother name Adrian. Its kind of sad to say that he's been my only friend ever since he was born. My parents, they're still together and everything, but most people think they're weird because they're so open about everything. They've let me try a lot of things like drugs and stuff and I've kind of walked in on them fucking countless times in my life that it doesn't really phase me," he said, laughing slightly. Phil laughed, his shoulders shaking a bit. Dan found that he really enjoyed Phil's laugh.

"That's actually amazing. I'd kill to have that, to be honest. My parents are so strict that I can't even hardly go anywhere without letting them know. I would've been here a bit earlier, but I had to call my mom to let her know." Dan smiled as Phil rolled his eyes. "You don't understand how much of a pain she is. She constantly thinks I'm going to get killed or something, but that's a bit hard to do when I literally have no friends and no way of transportation to go anywhere, you know?" Phil groaned, laying down with a huff. Dan laughed.

"Hey, for all you know, I could've told you to come over so I could murder you," Dan teased, making Phil laugh and shrug after he sat back up.

"At least I'll die by a cute person." The words made Dan's eyes go wide and cheeks flush pink. Phil laughed. "Oh, I should probably tell you that I'm bisexual and I don't really hide it," he said, watching Dan's reaction intensely. He had a look of worry almost in his eyes, which made Dan wonder if he was scared Dan was going to tell him to leave.

"It's okay, I'm not used to people talking to me, let alone calling me cute. I'm gay, by the way," Dan muttered. He didn't really know why, but he felt like he could trust Phil. Maybe it was because he seemed so laid back and so sweet and so open with him? He didn't really know, but he was happy to be able to tell someone other than his family his thoughts and such.

"Sweet! I thought you were going to throw me out for a second. Anyway, can I ask you a question? You are not required to answer at all, I understand if you don't want to, I'm just a curious person." Dan cocked his head, as if to ask what the question was. "Why did you ask me if me talking to you was a joke?"

Dan looked down at his bed and shrugged. "That's a really long story, to be honest, and I don't really know if I want to tell you it right now. I don't want to end up scaring yo away or something of that nature. You're my first ever friend and I really don't want to lose you now that I have you."

After a second of silence, Dan glanced back up to see Phil smiling at him. It was a sad kind of smile, not an extremely happy one like he just had on his face not but two minutes before.

"You didn't really have any friends either your whole life, did you?" Phil asked and Dan didn't say anything. "Its okay! I won't leave you. You're stuck with me now, Danny boy!"

And for some reason, as they both started laughing at that statement, Dan believed him with everything he had even though he barely knew the kid.

_I'm okay with being stuck with you, blue eyed boy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I apologize for taking forever, but hey, at least its a long ass chapter! I hope you guys like it!!! 
> 
> -Ali.xo


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